Australia Declares Victory in the Great Emu War

Campion, Western Australia — December 10, 1932

Australia’s unusual battle against its own wildlife has come to an end, with government forces officially declaring victory in what locals are calling the “Great Emu War.”

A man holding an emu killed by Australian soldiers

The conflict began last month when thousands of emus — large, flightless birds native to the continent — swept across farmlands in Western Australia, destroying crops and fences in their search for food and water. Farmers, desperate to protect their livelihoods, appealed to the federal government for help.

In response, military personnel armed with Lewis machine guns were deployed under the command of Major G.P.W. Meredith. The troops expected a quick and easy campaign. Instead, they found themselves facing a fast, coordinated, and surprisingly resilient opponent.

Reports from the field describe scenes of chaos and frustration as the emus, able to sprint at incredible speeds and scatter in all directions, repeatedly outmaneuvered the soldiers. Early attempts to corral and eliminate large groups failed, and the birds continued to damage farmlands despite sustained efforts.

After several weeks of skirmishes, limited success, and thousands of rounds fired, the campaign has been called off. Officials estimate that only a fraction of the emu population was affected. Major Meredith praised the birds’ resilience, stating, “If we had a military division with the bullet-carrying capacity of these birds, it would face any army in the world.”

Farmers remain frustrated, and many are calling for new solutions to protect crops from future emu invasions. While the government has withdrawn the troops, discussions are already underway to establish more effective barriers and bounties.

For now, the emus have retreated into the bush — victorious, and seemingly unfazed — as Australians shake their heads at one of the strangest military operations in the nation’s history.